Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Wesley Thomas Maurer

Here are a few quick pictures of Wesley's arrival. Owen and I in OB Triage.
We'll skip the details of how he got here for this post..I know most just want to see what the little dude looks like. Doesn't Owen look like a proud papa?
Although this was my "biggest" pregnancy, Wesley was only 6 lbs. 1 oz (barely)! We were all surprised. He looks just like clara in tis pic.
A family of Five. Thank you Lord Jesus for your gift and blessing of life! We're tired and happy.
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Thursday, February 17, 2011

They can't be ruined

I am a pretty good mom. Don't stop reading. Follow me here. I have always wanted to be a mom and have been thrilled to be given this highest calling to raise children. I am intentional with the way that I parent. I work hard with Clara and Judah--seeking to discipline them in the right ways. I seek to have a ton of fun, create memories, develop their character and help lay a foundation for their education. I play on the floor with them and get dirty at the park with them. I try my best to feed them the right foods, read them the right books, expose them to all kinds of experiences and help them build healthy relationships with friends and family. We sing silly songs in public together. I let them fall at the play ground, but not too often. I hover over them in new circumstances but not too much. I check them for fevers and expose them to germs. I enforce a strict bed time, but not when there's a babysitter. I give rewards for good behavior and high fives for new skills learned. See I am a pretty good mom.

I am a pretty bad mom though too. I get frustrated when either of my children don't obey immediately. I get angry when I am disciplining for the um-teenth time for the same offence. I raise my voice. I slam my hand on the table to get attention. I turn a blind eye to broken rules when I am too tired to get up and correct. I will discipline one child for doing something wrong and not the other. I am harder on Clara than I am on Judah. I have punished Judah for things I never thought to correct Clara for. I roll my eyes at the whining. I am impatient when a determined child wants to do everything for themselves. I choose not to praise when good behavior is noticed because I just don't feel like it. I pretend I can't hear one child crying because I KNOW the other one has done something mean. I break my own rules in front of my kids because "I am the mom". See, I can be a pretty bad mom too.

I feel on many challenging days that I have done something to ruin my children.

Just a few weeks ago I was crying at the end of a very long day confessing to Owen all of my short comings and frustrations of the day...well, maybe I was venting all of the short comings of my children and how they were making me feel. Of course I can't be responsible for everything. To cope and "fill myself up", instead of going to Christ, I went to the blog world and read some of my favorites. Well, Christ is found in the blogs too people! And I felt that this mom was writing just for me. She was having a hard day with her 3 children too and was crying to her husband (imagine that) and instead of caressing her ego and saying all that she did well, he reminded her of one fundamental truth. She can do nothing to ruin her children. They are already ruined. They are ruined by sin and separation from Christ. The only thing that can be done is continually show the love, correction, mercy, grace, discipline, sacrifice of Christ to children each day.

Talk about a moment to re-focus. The truth is I cannot ruin my children..they already are ruined. I have the high calling to point my children to Christ and all I can do is cling completely to Him for the wisdom that's needed to parent. The other truth is that I am ruined or I was before I surrendered my life to Christ. I am an imperfect person trying to parent ruined children. Wow that seems hopeless! But it's not because I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Jesus' grace is sufficient for me...and my 3 year old! When I can remember that I am not ruining my children, but that I am to point them to our Lord and Savior the parenting task is much holier, much more urgent, much more compelling. I don't want them to obey me simply because I am their mom and I want them to. I want to teach them honor, respect, obedience, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, love, joy, peace, gentleness and self-control because those are the Fruits of the Spirit...the Spirit of Christ! Although on a daily basis I fail. I forget this principle and listen to so many lies--His grace is sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning. I trust that this parenting thing isn't futile. No I cannot ruin my children. I cannot separate them any farther from God. I am not that powerful. All I can do is humbly submit to Christ, seek His strength in my weakness.

Nothing yet people

Baby is still very comfy inside...not ready to come out yet. I however, am pretty uncomfortable and feeling very "lived in". Go to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully we'll have some progress. Also, I believe that they set an induction date--although it could be as much as 2 weeks out. I cannot imagine still being pregnant in two weeks!

Kids are doing great. My mom is in town and the in-laws come back home tonight so I hope that my mind (thinking: everyone is here now you can come out now) and my body (please go into labor) will all line up now!

Still enjoying being the mother of only two for the time being--although preaching that mantra to myself is becoming a little harder! I can't wait to meet Wesley

Saturday, February 12, 2011

A few more days as 4

My dad was in town last weekend coming to see the bumps and the grand kids before the craziness of a new baby takes place. This is us together...not the greatest self-photo ever, but whatever.
Judah had a blast playing at the park with GB--he thought it was so much fun to have his GB push him on the swing.
Clara on the other hand wanted to show off her newly mastered skill of swinging "all myself" as she says. All I have to say is thankGodIdon'thavetostandpushmychildontheswingthewholetimeweareattheparkanymore!
This will probably be one of the last family pictures as a family of 4! Have to excuse the kids...looking at the camera and into the sun they were not so thrilled!
When dad was in town and we had a family dinner at my house. We ate salmon, roasted veggies, a huge salad, home made bread...lots of goodness. It was a fun time had by all. Jessica, my sister in law on the far right is 38 weeks pregnant in this can't even tell!
You can however, tell that I am 38 weeks! Here's Mr. Wesley just cookin away. The belly button still has not popped out. We like to call this the "wabaamm" picture.
Too cute not to post. My dad and Judah just after Mr. J woke from his nap. That's my favorite time of day, when he wanders out of his room all rosey cheeked and cuddly. Got to love it.
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