Monday, June 24, 2013

9 Years

 9 years. I love Owen more now than I did then...He was a good man then, I just didn't know how good. I thought I was good then, but didn't know really how sinful & selfish I was--Owen never told me as much, but just loved me so good that I saw myself for who I really was...and although I have a long way to go, I have to believe that the way that Owen has loved me in a Godly way, he has opened my heart for God to do some major changing work in me. I love you babe! Thanks for loving me AND for making me more loveable

Waiting...

Waiting sucks. There I said it. Each day I walk a balance beam between being completely present for my kids and longing for one that we don't know. It's hard. We've been waiting for 7 months...average wait is 9-12 months so I anticipate that we have at least several more waiting months to go...but man it is more of a challenge than I anticipated.

We started waiting in November--to be honest the first 3 months flew by. It was Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then New Years then I ran the half marathon. I also had a 2 year old that needed to be potty trained (read still needs to be completely potty trained)...I had a handle on the waiting and knowing that I had things to accomplish. But once all was "accomplished" the waiting has become this little thing that eats at my heart a little each day...I do all the things that need to get done each day, loving kids, cleaning, cooking, teaching, correcting, but it's with this little bit of (ok lot a bit) of longing. Owen and I exchange a text each morning that says, "pray that today is the day."

We are grateful for the waiting--we have had some very difficult things going on in our circle that we have needed to be 100% available for...obviously we have rejoiced that God has given us this waiting period without a newborn to be able to be there for those who have needed us. I was able to finish my first official year of homeschooling without interruption for which I am extremely thankful. It's so neat watching Clara flourish as a homeschooler (for the time being) and know that I was able to be 100% focused on her lessons. It's been fantastic to have a level of spontaneity in our schedule to just pack up and go somewhere without too much worry about napping schedules, feeding routines and all that a newborn baby can bring with it...we are grateful for this waiting time. I need to remind myself of that on a daily basis!

We have had a long time to talk with our children about waiting, praying and knowing that Jesus' plans are best. They totally get it! As we have prayed at meal time and bed time it blesses my heart to see my children ask the Lord in faith for a baby that they already love so much. They are praying for the birth mom to have peace in her difficult time...they are praying that they would learn how to love our "new baby"...they also have some qualifications for this new baby that makes us laugh!

Yes we are grateful for this time...even though it's hard. We know that God has not forgotten His promise to us, our desire to be obedient to Him and the longings of our hearts.
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:6

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Living Life

Sista time away from children, Rach and I hung out by the pool, ate out dinner without kids which as happened  never in our entire remembrance, grabbed a chocolate flowerless cake from TJ's and ate an ungodly amount of it. We talked, laughed, cried and read...it was a sweet sweet time I will keep in my heart. 
 The past month and a half have been filled to the fullest...So much said, accomplished, completed, worked out, taught, learned, and life lived. Too much to keep an on-going regular blog at the moment. But I am thankful for INSTAGRAM (I know, I know, late freight party for 1). Here is a bevvy of pictured moments...
Snuggle time after naps. Me & her have exclusive time for about 30 minutes until the boys wake up. Learning how to play on the phone & read at the same time. 

Being home base for this crazy jumper at Flip Dunk...I love being home base for him and my two other little ones.  Every once in a while in the midst of the fun they are all having, they come and get a hug and then run off...I love knowing that they find security just in a quick embrace--never know when it will be the last time they do that before they grow out of the need. 

Homegrown yellow grape tomatoes. I am kind of glad my kids don't like them! 

Weekend trip up to Flagstaff AZ. Stayed at Uncle Roy & Aunt Lynn's house and had sweet (and slightly obnoxious) snuggle time in the morning. whenwillmychildrenlearnthejoyofsleepingin?

My new favorite picture. Gha! I love these kiddos. Hiking. Cooler weather, head lamps and lots of sticks (that are also called dicks). Tucking memories like this away.