Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Reflecting...

This time last year was such an intense time for our family--I cannot help but reflect where we were at this time last year compared to today. I don't know about you, but whenever the anniversary of an intense time comes, I have to really think about how things have changed. How God has taught me and shaped me and rejoice at His work.

Last night as we took the long drive to Judah's meet the teacher night for his home school enrichment program, it dawned on me that tomorrow (Wednesday) was a monumental day in our lives last year! I remember walking Clara to the same classroom we walked Judah to--meeting the teacher for the first time and seeing other home schooling families with their kids. I remember too, a woman who had a very fresh baby wrapped in a baby sling and my heart ached. I wanted that to be me so bad. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had a perfect baby ready for our family at the perfect moment, and I knew statistically that our time was most likely coming to an end. My head tried to tell my heart that all the time! I ached though.

The next day (wednesday of that week) my mom had flown into town to help move us into our new home. We had a busy day of picking out fabric for bedding that my mom planned to make, moving some items, welcoming the carpet & tile cleaning crew and having a family dinner at my sisters house. My mom had yet to see our actual house--so after dinner Owen took the kids home and my mom and I headed over to the new house to get her settled and to hide a HUGE birthday present for my niece (so I was told) in my house. I was so annoyed to have someone else's stuff to store. It was after 8 pm before we got close to wrapped up and were just sitting at our dinning room table (the only piece of furniture in the house). My phone rang...I assumed it was Owen but it said "No CALLER ID". Any waiting family knows that a late night call could be THE CALL. I picked up like a crazy person and tried to get my voice to sound calm. It was not my case worker, but the program supervisor. We got past the pleasantries and I pointedly asked her why she was calling me so late--she proceeded to tell me that my case worker was out of town and that she felt prompted from the Lord to call and ask if she could share our profile with a birthmother whom they had struggled to find a match for. In that moment, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I knew that this woman was carrying our child. Before knowing her name, before knowing her situation, before anything else was said, an assurance settled in my heart (mixed in of course because I am a crazy human, with fear, excitement, joy). I said we were committed to being available to anything that the Lord presented to us. The supervisor went on to say that her situation was a little outside of our scope--but I quickly said that at this point we threw our scope out the door--we can put our perimeters around what we think we want and what we think we can handle--but God's plan is already perfect.  There were very little details actually available at this time to protect this mom and father...I scribbled some notes...I didn't even have names...but we were certainly willing to be available. We said YES. And by we, I mean I. Owen and I had spoken so often of this moment that I knew that he would be OK with this.

I hung up the phone and my mom pulls out that HUGE gift "for my niece". She told me to open it. I told her that it was for Olivia...I am slow sometimes people. My mom had made a beautiful home warming present for me..pictured above. It is so special having something hand crafted just for me from my mom. She even free-handed the lettering. The Word can speak so much more powerfully than anything...there were tears.To know that my mom was walking this road with us and pointing me to Christ in this hard time of waiting (and worrying--the money, the perfect fit, the birth family relationships, the unknown and complete lack of control) There was assurance within the unknown. And then there was so much more to be done!

Thursday (the next day) I am literally carrying boxes up and down  stairs getting ready for our move day (friday) and I have my cell phone practically tethered to my body. It rang finally about 11:30 that day--hoping it was our agency, I dropped the boxes I was carrying and saw an out of state number. I almost didn't answer. But I did and it was our funding agency Lifesong for the Orphan. The woman on the other end of the phone said she had good news--their funding board had re-reviewed our case and wanted to give us a matching grant that we did not apply for. This grant made our adoption 99% funded (we still had $11.00 balance haha). I cried. I was totally incapable of talking. I knew that I knew that I knew that the birth mom I had learned about just the night before would choose our family for her baby.

Yes. "My God will supply all of my needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus".

He provides. He plans. He orchestrates. He leads. He keeps His promises. Today we will proclaim His good works in our family. Only His plan could be this good.

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